I AM

I am not perfect, but often I feel as though I have to be.

In my sibling group, I am the first born.

In my immediate friend group, I am the first to graduate college, first to have a baby and the first to get married.

As the first in all these areas, the pressure to “set an example” is extremely intense. Sometimes I want to go unnoticed so I can just do without having these high expectations surrounding me.

Because I am self-driven and highly motivated, I find myself being the “only” in many rooms. The only woman, the only person of color, the only millennial, the only mom, and the list goes on. This constant pressure to “set an example” sometimes cripples my innovation. It sometimes makes me feel the need to slow down and stop doing too much.

Do I set the bar too high? Should I lower it? Do you ever feel like this? What do you do? I’ll explore this more in another post.